Friday, September 18, 2009

False starts

After writing yesterday's post, I was almost giddy with excitement about getting back on the wagon. I made an awesome, healthy salad. I took a 2-mile walk after work. Things were going well. Then of course, I pulled my usual derailing move of driving through the golden arches before bedtime. Ugh.

I woke up feeling bloated and regretful- two words that describe me pretty well these days. I keep trying to remember how I got started the first time around. It wasn't easy, and I had plenty of failures before I got on a successful roll. It makes me wonder how I ever managed to get fit in the first place.

"I'll start tomorrow" has been my motto for almost a year now. Interesting how tomorrow never comes, isn't it?

12 comments:

Kimberly said...

Morgan, I found your site a few months ago through the blogroll on another site. I was so drawn in by you that I added your site to my feed in the hopes that you would return. And you have!

Like so many others, I know the struggles that you're going through. Getting thin is a huge effort, and maintaining that requires ongoing attention.

I wish you the best - And I'm glad you're back!

ForthrightFattie said...

OK, McD's for dinner--not a great move. But it doesn't undo the healthy choices you made earlier in the day. A half-healthy day is better than a completely bad one.

I'm currently trying to recover from a long period of being half-hearted in my efforts, and I look back on the early days when I was just on fire. One thing that really helps me is weekly meal planning and grocery shopping. I plan what I'm going to cook, then write up a schedule and stick it on the fridge. I give my meals really fancy names, too. Like, rice and beans becomes "Adobo-dusted arroz and frijoles with fresh pico de gallo." It's silly, but it gets me excited about eating healthy food, and once I know that I'm eating rice and beans Wednesday, there's less chance for those golden arches to lure me.

elife said...

I had so many false starts. FInding blogs like yours is what helped me finally start getting through the rough first days, weeks, when it's so painful to give up the familiar habit, but way too soon to see a dent in an obese body.

I'm so glad you're back :)

Mae Flowers said...

I wouldn't call it a false start. You made a definite start by deciding to do better and derailed a little bit. What's one mistake? I'm sure that you learned from it, it sure sounds like you did! You, out of anyone, should know that you are going to make mistakes once in a while, but if you keep on going, you'll make it! Keep encouraged! I believe in you!

Merry said...

Does guilt help you get motivated? Or the thought that people are waiting to hear back about your day?

zoe said...

Yay!!!

I'm so glad you're writing again!
I remember giving up smoking - It took countless attempts. I thought I'd never have fun any more. I felt practically psychotic for a while. I did it though, and it still amazes me!
Thinking of this always makes me feel better when I've done well foodwise and then go silly.

Glad you're back!

Zoe

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you're back, Morgan! I've read every one of your posts... and you really are inspirational! Hang in there... don't be so hard on yourself!

Anonymous said...

Morgan,
Man I hope you keep posting!! I don't know if you remember me but I met you at last years Gobbler Grind run and my name is Jared. I mentioned that I followed your blog and I still do! I have read every one of your posts and check back frequently to see if you came back. I really enjoyed reading your blog because I could totally relate to the fast food addition, the obsessive menu planning, and the enthusiasm for KC races. The only thing I was missing and I still am was the weight loss. I eat right 80% of the time, I work out 2-3-4 times a week and I still weigh in the 290's. I can run a half marathon but I can't lose weight. It totally pisses me off. I guess the 20% of the time where my eating is off ruins it for me. I am signed up for the half KC Marathon, the Half Gobbler Grind, and the Half Las Vegas marathon. Unless a miracle happens between now and December I will be one of the heaviest runners out there. I ran the KC Zoo run a few days ago in around 46 min, but I can't lose weight and I have to admit that running with this much weight is very hard. Also medically it is virtually impossible to get any help from a Dr. It sucks, ya know they always say "Before starting this exercise program consult your Dr." Well that's bull cause if you do than most insurance policies (everyone I have had) wont cover anything relating to obesity or weight loss. Can't ask anything about your weight and if you do you have to ask the Doc to not mention it in his notes. Well anyways enough about myself. I am so glad to see you posting again and I hope you will continue. I saw Pritha at the Lenexa Freedom Run of July 4th and I thought about asking her how you were doing, but I didn't want her to think I was a stalker! And I am not, I'm just really good with names and faces and I am very inspired by your blog. So please join the blogging community again on a regular basis, Blogging can be very therapeutic for ALL OF US!

Miz said...

it's today.
is it also tomorrow?

nagging & cheering you on from the blogworld,

Miz.

TotallyFried said...

Getting in the groove takes time. There are LOTS of ebbs and falls. All we remember from the last time we lost weight are the wins. Our minds forget the constant struggle and the losses. I have been through this as well. After regaining some of the weight..it took me ~ six months to get in the groove of eating right and excercising.

Only thing I can tell you is that you have taken the first step by starting to blog and committing to weight loss. but that doesnt mean that this will it and all good eating habits will come back. They take time..dont let the small downfalls of hitting the Mickey-D sidetrack you. Remember the rest of your day when you ate good food and let those throught propel you forward.

I love to read your blog and will keep hitting it everyday in hopes that you will continue blogging

sarah said...

i can't remember if i ever commented here before... i found you right before you went on hiatus, so probably not. but i'm so happy to see you posting again!! i managed to lose 125 lbs between june '03 - april '05. i was 185 and had another 20-30 to go. and then it started coming back on. i hit 200 and was desperate to get back to one-derland, to no avail. then i sat at 210 for about a year, still longing for one-derland. i hit 230 a few months ago, and been really trying for a few months... but of course there are those bad days that seem to undo all of the good weeks... and still i struggle.

i guess what i wanted to say is that you're not alone in this struggle. and it is a struggle. and as much as i like to think that some day it won't be, most days i'm pretty convinced that it will always be my struggle.

but you know this as well as i do... struggling and having some success is so much better than giving up! so please, keep trying... and don't disappear again!!!

Pritha said...

Morgan, glad you're back. Love you!
Jared - you should have talked to me. I don't remember seeing you there...