Thursday, September 17, 2009

What's up, bitches?

I decided to finally succumb to Facebook mania this week. Yeah, I know I'm really late, but whatever. Anyway, I searched and searched for the right profile picture. Every single one I could find was from my "Morgan Gets Thin" days. I picked one of the better ones and begrudgingly uploaded it.














I say "begrudgingly" because, well... that's not really me anymore. See that chin, and that jawline? Not there at the moment. I'm back to the old days of avoiding cameras and mirrors. I'm sick of being fat, but apparently not sick enough to change (again). I think part of that is knowing how hard I had to work to slim down the first time. The idea of doing all that again makes me want to cry.

Still, I sometimes see a picture like this one, and it makes me nostalgic for last year's "5K May." It makes me miss my running friends, who I never see anymore (totally my fault). I miss feeling like I've accomplished things.

Maybe I'll never run again, much less run another marathon. But I have to do something. I'm not happy in this body. The weird thing is, I wasn't happy with my previous body either. I still managed to focus on the pudge in my belly and not the fact that I'd lost over 100 lbs.

So, what to do? I guess I'll start by grabbing a salad for lunch.



9 comments:

Liz said...

Welcome back!!

ForthrightFattie said...

Starting with a salad sounds like a solid step. As much as it is terrifying to think of repeating all that hard work, it's not so bad to think in terms of a salad now, a walk later, etc. Rooting for you!

Mae Flowers said...

Great to see you back. Yours was one of the first blogs I found when I decided to start living a healthier lifestyle. I'll be cheering for you!

MB said...

Hey Morgan -

I was happy to see your post.

I know exactly what you mean about trying to get back into the grove of losing. Losing and gaining really messes with your head which is why I think I've been at a standstill in the weight loss dept.

I hope you enjoyed your salad and hope to see you around more often.

I'm looking forward to hearing about how "Morgan Gets Thin Again."

Janet said...

Awesome to see you back Morgan. I've lost and regained weight a bunch of times, so I feel your pain!

rubiashmubia said...

You're back!! I literally gasped. Out loud. In my office! HOORAY!

TotallyFried said...

Welcome back Morgan. I am happy to see you post...

aperfectversionofmyself said...

Yay! Welcome back! I've missed reading your blog!

RobinJP said...

welcome back.
you can do it.
a salad a day. walk to get the salad. drink lots of water (yeah, I know)
hang in there. 5K may is just around the corner.