Ring of Fire

Yesterday was, to put it mildly, devastating. I ate more unhealthy food than I care to admit. Recently, my "episodes" have mainly included foods that could be considered healthy- cereal, yogurt, low fat cottage cheese, etc. Yesterday, though, it was all junk, and a lot of it. I'm not proud to sit here and type this out, especially since this is a weight LOSS blog. I know many of you come here for inspiration. However, I need to be honest, or else what's the point?

I fell into such a dark state of mind yesterday. More than once, this scary thought crossed my mind: "What's the point of living if every waking moment is spent thinking about food?" Life seemed pointless. Not good.

Of course, when all this was happening, I was at work. Crying in one's cubicle is apparently frowned upon, so I tried to suck it up and choke back my tears. I went around to a couple coworkers' desks and vented a bit. There are a few people at my job who know about my struggles, and they're always sympathetic. Even though they listened and offered support, I still felt extremely alone, like no one truly understood.

It wasn't until that evening, when I had my first meeting with my new running group, that I perked up a little. New members were supposed to pick up our materials and do a meet-and-greet with the coach and other members. As I sat there and listened to others' goals of completing their first marathons, I once again became inspired. My self-loathing melted away as I heard a woman in her 50s talk about her upcoming triathlon.

My body is now punishing me for the damage I did yesterday. I've never suffered from acid reflux, but this morning my esophagus is burning Johnny Cash style. Ring of Fire? Get it? Hey, at least I'm making a feeble attempt at a joke. That's a step up from yesterday.