Sunday, November 9, 2008

Knock on wood

Since my last post, things have been going remarkably well. I think I hit a new bottom that day, and there wasn't anywhere to go but up.

This is my 4th day sober. By sober, of course, I mean "binge free." I already feel much better. My attitude has improved, I feel more slender, and my pants are slightly looser. I'm not going to step on the scale, though, for fear of seeing a number I don't like and getting so depressed that I throw myself into a McDonald's drive-through again.

I've decided, at least for now, to totally abstain from my trigger foods. No cookies, ice cream, fast food... not one bite. Moderation is great for those people who can actually moderate. If I had that ability, I wouldn't have gotten to 264 lbs. in the first place. Come to think of it, as I was losing the weight, I never ate my trigger foods. This would account for part of my success. I can't say I'll never have a cookie again, but for now I'm staying away from them (and everything else that gives me trouble).

Last night, Angie and I attended a banquet for my running group. It was pot-luck, so there was a lot of unhealthy food. Even runners know how to throw down with salt, fat, and sugar. One dude walked in carrying a pizza, and fried chicken even made an appearance. My strategy was to indulge myself, but to have one plate, and also stay away from the desserts. And, by "one plate," that did NOT mean I was allowed to make a mountain of food that would cause the paper plate to buckle under its immense weight. It had to be a reasonable amount. I got some lean barbecue meat, some cheesy baked pasta stuff, some curried fish (which was amazing and I hope to post the recipe soon), and a few other odds and ends. When I saw the desserts, I just kept walking.

The conversation was so good at the table that it took me a long time to eat. Normally, I eat really fast. When I'm talking, it takes longer. It was nice to actually taste my food for once. After dinner, the coach showed some video clips, presented awards, and recognized those of us who finished our first marathons. It was a wonderful way to bring closure to the experience, and also open a different chapter.


lindsay said...

hey! i've been following your blog on my reader, but i can't remember if i came across it from runner's lounge or just someone else's blogroll... anyway i just wanted to send some good luck to you on trying to resist all of your trigger foods 100%! i have been doing something similar - about 5 years ago i gave up soda and i haven't any since. then as a 'tradition' i gave up another junk food each year (in the summer, so it wasn't a ny resolution). fries, pizza, chips, candy and ice cream. i'm still soda and french-fry free, but i recently found out i have some food allergies (soy, nuts, beans) and had to give up a LOT of other foods. so, i "allow" myself to eat pizza/chips/candy and ice cream as long as it is soy/etc free as a trade off. because of the limitations it's usually still pretty healthy (sun chips instead of doritos) and ice cream/candy is nearly impossible to find, so i feel like my ultimate goal of eating healthier is still being met. anyway, good luck with it as i know it can certainly be tough, but i have faith that you will be tougher!

spunkysuzi said...

Good for you!! I have to admit i have to stay totally away from my trigger foods, i just am not able to have one piece of candy and stop there. Or i will right then and there, but later that day the sugar dragon comes out and i just want anything with either sugar or white flour in it!! I also have a binge eating problem and i find it's the best way that i can find right now to deal with it.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad that you've had a good few days Morgan. I know how binge eating is. I do it myself. Keep up the good work and try not to get down. You will get the weight off again. Remember, the hardest part of all is keeping it off ... an never ending battle. You can do it.. Heather

Linden said...

Way to go on the successes! I am going to take a page from your book and start avoiding my trigger foods... but first I need to figure out what those are exactly. Thanks again for sharing your experience.

VerseFameBeauty said...

I recognized some terms in this post - are you in Overeaters Anonymous? I'm going to my second meeting tonight and not quite sure how all it's going to change my life, but I know it will. Just curious if you were, too.

Linden said...

Hi, it's me again. :)

I just wanted to let you know that I linked to this post in a post about food.