Sunday, February 24, 2008

Pizza party at the nursing home- the day after

In a post last week, I recall saying that I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted for my weekly cheat meal, as long as I worked out really hard. I proved myself wrong.

Yesterday was my grandmother's 97th birthday. She's not able to get out much, so we took the party to her. I made a chocolate cake and we ordered pizza- one cheese and one supreme. Even though it was crappy old Pizza Hut pizza, I was still really looking forward to it. The party went well, and I had 2 slices of cheese and 1 slice of the supreme. Cake and ice cream too. When it came time to pack everything up, I kept two slices of supreme for Angie and me, and two pieces of cake. We wound up eating our leftovers last night just so we could get rid of it. That was my first mistake- taking stuff home. Should've just left it all with my parents.

I woke up this morning and was up two pounds on the scale. Oh, I forgot to mention I did 6 miles on the treadmill yesterday. I know the weight gain is mostly water and I'm sure it will come off quickly, but damn! I looked up last week's cheat meal, and it was much tamer by comparison. Pizza is all doughy and salty and cheesy, so it stands to reason that eating 4 slices would puff me up.

Today I'm feeling pretty crappy, both mentally and physically. Have you ever seen the movie Supersize Me? After Morgan Spurlock eats enough McDonalds, he starts feeling all depressed for no reason, and yet he still craves the stuff. That's kind of how I've felt all day today. I've had a bit of a headache and I've been irritable and overly sensitive. And I can't stop thinking about food. I feel like a junkie looking for my next fix. I ate a bunch of stuff this afternoon when I wasn't really hungry. The more I ate, the worse I felt about myself, which just made me want to eat more. Everyone who struggles with food addiction can relate to this cycle of guilt/eating/more guilt/more eating. It just really sucks when it's happening.

I'm really looking forward to my nutritionist appointment tomorrow. I know I've said it before, but I just want someone else to take control for a bit. I'm sick of over-analyzing every little thing I eat. Maybe this lady can just say, "okay, I want you to eat x, y, and z and not worry about the calories."

Okay, it's time for me to sign off and get the hell out of this house.


2 comments:

Rmalawy said...

I can't wait to hear what the nutritionist has to say because I'm just getting started and have been focusing on calories. Thanks again for the blog...love it!

Anonymous said...

morgan you are such an inspiration! I just wanted to know what finally clicked in your head it was time to get this weight off? I have gained over 50 pounds and now weigh 185 and every Monday diet is on then the cheating every weekend. I need to get it together. Any ideas how to get with the program and stick to it. Thanks you look awesome.