The old adage "I'll start on Monday" is a common one in the world of weight loss, and I'm certainly no exception to thinking that way. Why I think it will be easier to start on a Monday is a mystery, considering Mondays are incredibly stressful for me. Every Monday, some unseen force (the promise of money, I suspect) compels me to wake up, shower, get dressed, and drive to my job, where around 300 emails from angry people await my reply. As I'm writing back to the guy who doesn't know me, yet is sure I am a butt-f***ing weasel (yes, I've actually been called that by a stranger), I'm thinking about how a cheeseburger or a cupcake would make it better. The guy who calls me a weasel is a complete stranger, and I shouldn't care what he thinks. I do, though. More than that, I care that he is mean to me. I wonder if he knows that the person he is writing to is a human being- a funny, clever, fat human being with blisters on her feet. I wonder if he knows that his rant makes me want to binge on spaghetti and meatballs until I'm about to burst. People seem to think that the anonymity of email gives them permission to treat the reader like a punching bag, but rest assured, that punching bag is a person. It might even be me. So please, for the love of cupcakes and cheeseburgers, be kind to the customer service reps you deal with.
But I digress. My point is that Monday does not a good starting point make. Thank goodness today is Wednesday, or I'd be in real trouble.
Oh, and to the dude who called me a butt-f***ing weasel: I have your name, your credit card number, and your home address. Suck on that, douchebag.